Bumping Ten

The pain today was as bad as the view was lovely from her chair with flowers in the foreground and fresh snow and Lazy Mountain in the background.  

One of mom's least favorite questions is, "On a scale of one to ten (with ten the most pain) how is your pain today?"  Today the answer to that question was, "Nine or ten" without hesitation.  That was after getting back on the previously highest dosage of pain medication this morning. 

The opinion of Hospice was that mom's back has given out at one of the points where the cancer metastasized.  They suggested the emergency room since the back pain is not directly related to the cancer for which Hospice is responsible.  Mom knows that wouldn't fix anything so we wait and pray.  We did get our dust masks today as Redoubt Volcano is still on orange alert.

One Night Closer

Last night was a long one with interruptions beyond the normal 4 hour pills that Heather keeps track of.  I sleep on the sofa, near her chair,  available in case mom calls or am needed for lifting her to change.  She was visibly uncomfortable and in increasing pain.  Ray had picked up her 50 mmg patch in the afternoon so at 5 am Heather installed it, putting her on the same regimen that seemed to keep her comfortable most of the week.  She seems to be getting a little more comfortable.  The pill that we think she needs that she is refusing to take is the water pill.  

A Tale of two Agencies

Shortly after mom's diagnosis in December, her GP Dr Beyeler; her bone doctor that put her ankle back together, Dr. Gardner; and her oncologist, Dr Lawson met and agreed to let Dr Lawson take the lead in her ongoing treatment and put her under the care of Hospice.  Hospice is under Medicare and is designed to provide additional services at the end of life that enhance the quality of life and provide support to family and caregivers.  Not the least of these services is handling the pain and symptom management medications.

Unfortunately, just days after setting this up there was a tragic house fire in Wasilla during a wind storm that took the life of the executive of Hospice.  That left Hospice without the Federally required master's level oversight.  That put mom under another program called Homecare which (though the same caregivers were involved) was much more limited in its ability to handle prescriptions.  In the last two weeks Hospice scrambled, interviewed and accepted another qualified Director.  She had to give notice to terminate her job in Anchorage and has now, once again, made Hospice a qualified agency.  Using his power of attorney this morning, Ray signed mom back over to Hospice and we all look forward to a centralized coordination and distribution of needed medications.  Up to this point it has been a three ringed circus involving two doctors and the pharmacy.  Because of the abuse of pain meds and their high street value the prescriptions can't be faxed to the pharmacy- they must be picked up in person from the Doctor.  Because of the higher than normal doses prescribed the pharmacy won't fill some of the prescriptions.  We're told that the role of Hospice will eliminate these conflicts and the need to hand carry prescriptions.  We'll see.

Mom says her pain levels are OK but she has only been about half here today.  We retire tonight under the eminent threat of  volcano Redoubt blowing up and advice to shut down computers so volcanic ash won't be sucked into the cooling systems.

Good Hair Day

Thursday or Friday have been mom's hair days for years.  Her one and only hairdresser is Noel Guinotte.   After mom got unable to go to the shop Noel has faithfully come to the house to do mom's hair.  Last week mom was not on oxygen yet and was not feeling good.  Noel came to do the wash and place the curlers and promised to be back at 1 PM.  That was the day mom felt like she was finishing her journey more than once and called Noel to come back to remove the curlers early because she didn't want to go to heaven in her curlers!  

Yesterday was a great day for mom and everything went as scheduled.  Heather even remembered to take a picture while I was out baling hay!  

Today, Friday, is a different story.  Mom is confused  and very weak.  Home Care is supposed to be able to move her account over to Hospice today so some of the prescriptions can be straightened out but there was about 4 inches of snow and Judy is running late.

Pain

Since her terminal diagnosis the primary program for mom has been pain control, nutrition, and basic hygene.  A matter has come up that requires prayer.  Somehow on her last pain prescription her dosage on the patches was doubled from twenty five to fifty grains.  She is about to run out and the Dr has said he won't prescribe that amount again unless she goes to see him.  That is a very traumatic option so mom has decided to get by with half dosage until Hospice takes over and can handle the prescriptions themselves.  She also takes pain pills that balance the patches but we don't know how this change is going to affect her.  You can pray about that.  Thanks

Rusty

                                                                                  

One of the sets of old photos that got mom excited was this series of Rusty.  He was a pomeranian that was her companion at the farm until she had to get knee surgery.  He hit it off with Aunt Francis when she visited.  One of Billies daily jobs was to shovel a path through the snow drifts so Rusty could get out to lift his leg without getting high centered!

The Family Gathers

Two weeks ago several family members happened to show up one evening.  Pictured are Diane Hammond and her children, Marilyn Vink, Carrie and Daryl Bakk with almost all their children.  A week later the Bakks returned  with the newest great grandchild (number 16) Susan Joelle.  Also in the picture are Billy, Heather, and Larry.

Not long after this picture Boone and Vera Herr appeared with the now second youngest  great grandchild (number 15) Caleb Richard.

So, the great grandchild list goes like this:

Ben

Elias

Reuben

Susan Joelle      Mother- Grandaughter Carrie Bakk

Aidan      Father- Grandson  Gerald DeVilbiss

Briana

Megan

Cassie

Kaylee        Father - Grandson Shayne Herr

Jacob

Talitha       Mother- Grandaughter Diane Hammond

Kaylyn

Evie

Adah       Mother- Grandaughter Kathy Davis

Jana

Caleb      Father- Grandson Boone Herr

Telling Billy

At Ray's suggestion mom took Billy aside and explained what was going to happen.  She remembers so well how he understood when dad died that he had gone to be with Jesus.  

We left them alone and mom asked Billy where dad was.  He said, "Jesus."  Mom said, "Well, I am not well and will soon go to be with Jesus and dad in heaven."  Billy was not happy with that but certainly understood.

Answered Prayers

Mom has mentioned several times the clarity with which she has become aware of answered prayer.  At least three times she felt she was absolutely finished and could not go on.  One of those was when the attorney had her will ready to sign.  She looked at that stack of papers and said,  "I don't think I can get through that."  The attorney smiled and said, "You'll manage alright."  He got a little alarmed when she then said,  "I'll be dead before I get those signed!"

At that time she felt a surge of enabling from the Lord and was able to finish the signatures which were then witnessed by the Lazenbies who had come from up the street.

Frontier Mom

In our digging through old papers we came across this old article that was published nationally in the Ruralite in April 1983.  It was a account of mom's homesteading  career and the  foster care given to 40 children at different times.

A New Years Surprise

Pictured are the dozen roses that appeared at the door after mom talked with her sister, Francis, last week.  She had pretty much given up making phone calls but after getting hooked up with oxygen she had a new lease on life.  She wants everyone to know that oxygen is a wonderful thing!  By the way, these roses really were fragrant.